Hot n' Bothered on the Home Stretch

So it's hot as hell here, mid-August in Connecticut, but here I am still chugging away at my pre-baby checklist:

1. Paint nursery & assemble crib...check!
2. Attend childbirth preparation classes...check!
3. Describe to all my friends (with shame and horror) the state of my hoo-hoo, as I can no longer reach it to trim it...check!
   
4. Tour the hospital and get familiar with its layout, procedures, and staff...check!
5. Whine like a baby every night to my husband because I'm hungry but I don't want to cook and I don't know what I want him to cook...check!
6. DVR every episode of "A Baby Story" on TLC and then sob violently at the end of each one I watch...check!
7. Pack my hospital bag -- in progress.
8. Squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon -- not started.