For one, I am not able to walk distances of more than a 1/8 mile without getting a painful side cramp (which I'm told is the stretching muscles of the uterus, already being taxed by baby). So walking the dogs or getting ANY sort of exercise in is out. So is any intense shopping excursion (such as IKEA or the outlet malls) without frequent and inefficient breaks.
Which leads to another shocking discovery. I have become extremely unattractive. No matter how many times people tell me I am a cute pregnant person (which I think is just the polite thing to say to someone who's body, in a matter of mere months, is inflating like Veruca Salt RIGHT before their eyes), I still feel like "Large-Marge". And what the humidity has done to my poor hair doesn't help (think Cameron Diaz in "Being John Malkovich"). I mean, if I'm going to have "kankles" and a "gunt", the least I could have is shiny, flawless hair. Come on!
Ironically, this sudden onset of poor self-esteem, bad hair, and hot weather has made me bitter and insecure half the time and the other half of the time quite content with letting myself go. I've really started to accept it. Plus, the fact that I get to spend all evening watching my belly jump around like crazy as a little, living human being (who can now open its eyes in the womb and as of this week, would survive if born) moves and plays. It makes it all worth it, really.
